what a semester...

I just checked my Wes portfolio and found out that I got all As this semester! Alhamdullillah... I wasn't sure at all if I was going to get As for SOC 202, and especially SOC 316 since I was quite worried about our final report (it was worth 30% of the final grade..). But yesterday Rob emailed us and he said that it was an excellent report and he liked the sugesstion section we wrote. Oooo.. I'm so happy that this semester turned out well at the end (^_^)

I remember my conversation with Gina Driscoll after spring break when I was so down and blue coz of the frustrating internship search. "you're a student, you should be worrying about your performance in class and your final grades..." I told her that i'd be so disappointed if I got bad gardes this semester coz I was too focus on my internship search. I didn't do any intense search actually after spring break for two reasons--too busy and didn't have the motivation to look for more coz I wasn't sure the purpose I was looking for one (@_@) OMG, those stressful days... I realized how important doing well in 4 of my classes. Mmm... I don't really count econ as one, coz I wasn't into it ever since we came back from spring break.. hehehe... I didnt go to class when things got busy with soc 202 and 316 and at the end of the semester. And, the book review was very BAD considering I wrote it at the very last minute with a high fever :( On teh last day of class, I was kinda worried if I couldn't pass the minimum atendance requirement to skip the final (>_<) but I did, heheheh...

Hard work, determination, patience!

Coz Lynn never really gave us any feedback on any of our work, I didn't know exactly how I did in his class. Based on people's opinions on how he grades, I was like, "oh well, just do my best and see what happens. he seems nice..." Although I was kinda disappointed with his class coz basically I didn't really learn how to conduct social research despite the title of the class and the purpose written at the department's website, I WORKED HARD! For every assignment, I always spent a good amount of time to work on it (although I sucked at analyzing the SPSS data sicne I thought Chi-square was a correlation measure :p) I just wish we had done more individual work... but...but... what happened was actually better considering Rob's class took up so much time throughout the semester, so it's all goooooooooooooooooood!

Stress, tired, annoyed...

There were many ups and downs in this semester, especially with Rob's class. Some weeks the work was so intense that I felt I needed a break from everything, especially during the interview period. It was really tiring and stressful sitting alone at the CCP office with a list of incorrect contact information of my potential interviewees (thanks to WUB who doesnt update their contact info!). Ooo.. I just came up with a brilliant idea--I should post some of my soc 316 journals here, mmm... but there were weeks when things were quite "steady" so that I could focus on something else. But in general, there is just so much work for this class, and we ONLY got 1 credit for this! Aaaaarrrgggghhhh???? how come class like Chinese gets 1.5? The school should give us 1.5 as well, I mean... we work like REAL consultant sometimes--meeting with agency, compromising your ideology with the agency's needs, doing all the work which leads you to frustration and tears (mmm.. I dont think anyone actually cried when they're doing their projects :p) coz you're chased by deadlines and Rob's comments could sometimes tear apart your work you did (but, thanks to him though everything turn out well at the end... he's such a great professor!).

It was worth my time and energy...

Definitely! I told several people that this semester is quite unique compared o the previous ones, well Argentina was something else. But the point is that I was very content with all of my classes this semester coz I was learning things that I never did before. I like the combination of the classes. Although I took 2 research classes, I learned different things in each. Like WUB group didn't administer survey, but I did it at Lynn's class (plus for the final paper, with Holly we made a survey!). I finally was able to learn gamelan... the one and only percussion ensemble from Indonesia at Wesleyan (once known to be one of the first most complete gamelan sets in the US.. ooo...). It was pretty cool, especiall during our final performance coz we accompanied the wayang kulit performance! I'm so going to take the advance gamelan class in my last semester... :) Well, I took econ class for the purpose of learning the jargons (and slightly trying to understand the intense conversations that my econ peers sometimes have). But since I took it pass/fail, I had on intention of studying hard for it... I kinda set quite a low standard, like "well, as long as I pass the finals and do the prob sets, I'd be fine." mmm... I think after I took the second midterms, I basically stopped going to class. I remember one Thursday night, Yuri asked me if I had done the pob set. I was like "huh?? there's a PS? holy cow!!!" Yuri, Cedric and I would spend hours at ST lab doing our problem sets and desperately looking for econ majors to help us out with the questions that we sometimes had no idea the meaning of the questions :( yeah... econ 101 was just "some class" that I took at Wesleyan.. :p And just like the previous semesters, I was a TA for a Jap class, this time with Takahashi Sensei. I told her that I wasn't confident enough with my Jap coz I didnt use it at all when I was in Argentina. But it turned out fine and I really enjoyed being a part of the class. I got to know quite well some of the students (and Mori Sensei, considering that she left Wes for good... hix..hix..). Although I dont think I improved my Jap, I learned a lot from Takahashi Sensei coz I was more conscious this time about teaching; she helped with UES too by writing a recommendation for me! (^_^)

Time went by so fast...

Thanks to Allah SWT for everything that happened this semester... I hope things go well from here on (^-^)

it was worth the time

I'm quite excited about going home this summer. I know I'm going to miss Mas Yogi sooooo much and prolly I'm going to spend my parents' money to make millions of int'l phonecall. "We'll be fine aren't we, MasQuhSayang?"

So, last night I was at Keck Lab again and this time I wasn't really working on my papers... instead I was looking desperately for cheap airplane ticket to go home. I was sooo upset when I discovered that the cheap ticket from statravel.com was gone. OMG, it was cheap considering that I'm traveling in June ($1150). So I had to browse some random websites and since I didn't really keep good tracks which websites I had looked at, I searched the same websites over and over :(

After 2 hours...

I was getting nowhere with my search. ANA costs $138oish plus plus. UA offers quite similar price, but I didn't want to fly with UA... Aaaaaaaaarrrrggggghhh... I was so tired, stressed and quite desperate (@_@) I decided to call my dad and ask him about the price. After all, he's the one who pays for my ticket. He was like, "hey don't worry about the price" ooooooooo... but still, I felt that I should look for the cheapest ticket.

Hang up the phone and...

I came back to my computer and googled the websites that I saw tons of times. I decided to start all over again. I remember it was 1am... (;_;) I talked to Nancy and we agreed to go home at 2 coz she had an exam at 9am this morning. So, I looked at several websites and... and.. and..

Singapore Airline $1290 (tax included!) Wow!!!

I was sooo happy that I was shaking when I entered my credit card number and chose my seats. I found it using the some search engine that I was so sure that I used about 3 times before that.

I guess time makes a difference.

It was worth spending the whole night clicking and typing "cheap ticket singapore" over and over. I hope I'll have a nice flight and enjoy my time in Indonesia this summer :) espero!

Aaaiiinoooooooo...

Hoy tomé un café con él... ya no hablé con él por algunas semanas porque ya no fui a su oficina. me recuerdo el semestre antes de ir a Argentina donde fui a su oficina cas cada semana porque tuve que hablar con algunas personas importantes sobre mi operación de dientes durante la vacación de verano. Y por muchas veces, traté de ir cuando pensé que él iba a estar en su oficina. Y nos hablamos ahí por algunos minutos cada vez que yo fui (>_<) También me recuerdo cuando siempre traté de buscar una razón para hablar con él. Lo invité a random espectaculos que yo fui... hehehhe... es muy estupido, no?

después de regresar a Wesleyan, ya no pensé en él como antes... BASTA YA!

Y hoy, decidí a tomar café con él. Nos hablamos a las 3 del a tarde y charlamos...charlamos... me di cuenta que él tiene un anillo en su dedo que nunca vi antes. quería preguntarselo, pero no quería escuchar algo que no me gustaría saber... Sin preguntarle, me dijo, "ya te dije? ya me casé con mi novia!"

Aaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnooooooooooooooo....

ya sé que algún día ellos se iban a casar porque ya estaban en relación por casi 6 años (@_@) desde cuando estaban estudiantes de universidad acá. Y le dije, "que bueno! felicitaciones!!!" en realidad, hubo algunos segunditos donde no me sentí bien despues de que me lo dijera. Pero después, me dije, "hey, that's good for him! moving on...." A mei me parece que su novia, no no, su esposa es muy simpática :)

bueno...bueno...

me encanta que tengo una oportunidad de conocerte. siempre tenemos algo interesante para hablar, y voy a mantener lo que tenemos para siempre. No quiero repitir lo que hice en el pasado porque fue muy mal... espero que tenga una buena vida con ella y espero que seamos amigos siempre (^_^)

mmm... I wonder if I'd hear a similar thing this summer? Would I be there when it happens?

a transcrip of a new call centre recently set up for acme health institute:

a transcrip of a new call centre recently set up for acme health institute:

hello and welcome to the mental health online

if u are obsessive compulsive press 1 repeatedly

if u are co-dependent please ask someone to press 2 for you

if u have multiple personalities press 3,4,5 and 6

if u are paranoid, we know who u are and what u want stay on the line so we can trace the call

if u are delusional, press 7 and ur call will be transferred to the mothership

if u are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell u what number to press

if u are manic depressive, it doesnt matter which number u call coz no one will answer

if u are dyslexic press 69835787526524200

if u have nervous disorder please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on a line

if u have amnesia press 8 and state ur name, address, phone number, date of birth, credit card number and ur mother's maiden name

if u have post-traumatic disorder careful and slowly press 000

if u have bipolar disorder please leave a message after the beep, before the beep or after the beep

if u have short term memory loss press 9

if u have short term memory loss press 9

if u have short term memory loss press 9

if u have self low esteem, please hang up. all of our operators are too busy too talk to you.

thank you for calling the mental health online

masa-masa indah di sekolah (dari tk ampe sma)

TeKa ==================== 1. Waktu TK sekolah dimana? * TK Mutiara Indonesia Kalibata Indah... TKnya K'Seto dunks! Masih ada lho foto gw ma K'Seto :p 2. Teman main yang masih kumpul sampe sekarang? *gak ada tuh :( 3. Makanan Fave? *Anak Mas (tp sempet dimarahin ma bu guru gara2 gw gak mau makan yg laen slaen anak mas... enak bhow abishnya!) 4. Mainan Fave? *Tamiya ma anak2 cowo' eSDe ==================== 1. Waktu SD sekolah dimana? *SD Dewi Sartika Tebet yg dah gak jlas kbradaaanya skrg; Sturt St Primary School (again, no longer exist.. duuu.. sedihnya); Westbourne Park Primary School (I wanna go back to this school and hang out with my Aussie friends...) 2. Juara kelas tidak? *So pasti dunks 3. Masih ngompol dicelana? *waduh dah gak inget 4. Majalah favorit? *Bobo "teman bermain dan belajar" 5. Hobi apa? *maen "dor kucing" di mobil anter-jemput 6. Prestasi diluar sekolah? *apa ya? renang ok2 aja... nari juga lumayan... Ooo... pas di Australi, ma de'na kita berdua suka diundang nari Indonesia gitu d, smp pernah dibayar sgala :) 7. Jadi Ketua Kelas? * Ooo.. iya dunks! Galak gt d :P eSeMPe =================== 1. Waktu SMP sekolah dimana? *Semabel's tercinta 2. Ikutan OSIS? * iya tp gak gt aktif. Ikut OSIS buat ngecengin kakak klas and ketua OSIS sih sbnrnya... 3. Masuk team sekolah tidak (kegiatan olah raga, karya ilmiah, dsb)? * ikut KIR (Pak Mandir apa kabar ya skrg??) 4. Pernah diskors ato masuk ruang guru? * dipanggil ke ruang guru tuh sering bgt buat ngedengerin komplen mereka gara2 klas gw tukang ribut (>_<) 5. Jadi petugas upacara bendera? * pernah hampir... tahu kno koq akhirinya gak jadi :( 6. Terlalu bandel sampai orang tua dipanggil ke sekolah? *waduh, saya anak baik2 mas... 7. Sudah mengerti Buku Porno? *ngerti dong. 8. Merokok / Pergi Dugem? * waduh, klo pulang dgn baju bau asep rokok sih sering bgt gara2 kongkow2 ma anak2 9. Got A Crush? * Ooo... I wonder how he's doing these days 10. Masih dimandiin orang tua? * duu, dah gak lha... eSeMAaahh ====================== 1.Waktu SMA sekolah dimana? * SMU Tarq yg tak khan kulupa, apa lg masa2 banjir bersama-mu; Oosaki Koukou in Tokyo 2. Makanan favorit di kantin? * nasi ayamnya Cecil, yuuuuuuuuummmm... jd inget masa2 study tour. 3. Guru Fave / Pelajaran Fave? * klo plajaran favorit sih yg jlas bukan biologi ato kimia (duh, apalg kimia klas 3... no more orgo please!). Tp pas di Jepun, gw suka bgt ma pljrn kimia gara2 experimentsnya. buat gulali, ngobrol2 ma Miyamoto-kun, Sumie and Yamamoto-san (miss Miyamoto-kun! Where is that guy now?) klo guru favorit, mmm.. di TarQ ada Bu Cecil, Bu Trisye, Bu Kris. I like everyone in Tarq actually, smp org2 TU sgala baek2. Pas di Jepun, mmm... my Jap calligraphy teacher, OMG, I don't remember his name :( he's cute. But the best sensei ever is Isono sensei! 4. Sudah pacaran saat sma? Berapa kali? * klo benerennya 2 kli. Tp klo yg HTS2 gak jlas gt... waduh... I still remember jlas the weirdest and the most intense HTS ever. 5. Have gone into sexual relationship? * du du du.. klo yg ini gak d 6. Have seen opposite sex naked? * mmm.. kyknya udah d 7. Taken Alcohol? * tried a bit when I was in Japan 8. Bolos dari sekolah untuk alasan hura2? * hehehehe... pas di Tarq abish blk dr Jepun, malazzzz skali gw buat skolah 9. Masih ada temen dari TK tidak? * di Tarq sih tidak 10. What was your hairstyle? * oo, this one was interesting. Pas blk dr Jepang, blom jamannya rebonding. Eh balik2 gw punya rambut rebonding ala Jepang abish. Eh, kna marah ma suster Jeanne Aaaaaaaaa... disuruh lbh rapih lha.. apa lha... ngiri kli ye tuh suster 11. Bawa mobil ke sekolah? * dianter iya, walo dah punya SIM 12. Ketangkep Polisi waktu bawa kendaraan? * nope 13. Pernah nubrukin mobil? * nyerempet bus pas mo lomba di CC. duh dag..dig..dug abish! 13. Waktu tak terlupakan waktu SMA? * uncountable... 14. Thinking about reunion? * pengen bgt, apa lg ma anak2 B2

oooooooooo... can't believe I'm almost 21 and must let go off my status as a student in a year! what to do? what to do? I should sleep now, it's 4.43am on Tuesday

STUCK IN THE MUD!

I'm supposed to finish writing the second journal summary for Rob's class, but I'm STUCK... STUCK..IN THE MUD (>_<) I have several interesting ideas that I could include in the paper, but I can't put them together yet... Aaaaaaaaarrrrggghhhhh... Ok.. ok.. calm down, Tia. Think slowly... You still have time...

Oh no, I never took the midterms!!!!

That was a sentence from my dream last night. It's reading week, meaning it's crazy week for many people. I'm quite lucky that I didn't take any classes that require in-class final (pheeww... glad I passed ECON 101). So, I'm quite FREE this week... But many people around me are quite swamped by papers, finals, reports, you name them. I happened to hang out with those people, especially Mo and Nancy, whenever I was in a computer lab. Mo is doing her Investment Finance and Econometrics papers, and Nancy is working hard on her stat research paper... GANBARE~~! And last night, I had a dream like this...

I realized that I have skipped so many of my Econometrics and ECON 300 classes. Oh yeah... I dreamed that I was taking those tow freaking hard econ classes (>_<) So, since it's almost finals, I decided to go to classes. And... I found out that econometrics and ECON 300 are at the same time! Aaaaaaaaaarrrggghhhh... how didn't I know that???!!! since I couldn't do the homework of both classes, it was a hard desicion which class to go to :p hehehhe... But I first decided to go to ECON 302 and put my bag there. I couldn't remember who I talked to in class, but that guy was extremely amused when he saw me finally went to class.

BUT...

I was hungry! So I decided to skip the first half of the class and went to eat with someone that I can't recall now. I came back 40 min later and was confused again where I put my bag coz econometrics is right next to ECON 300 class. I entered the econometrics class and sat there. when I came there, the professor was going over the hard homework. The professor gave some hints to the class, and to my surprised, everyone said... "Oooo... that's how you do the work!" I looked at what I wrote and had no clue what the answer was :( It was tooooo complicated for me, considering that I never came to class. I was like... OMG, what to do? what to do? While I was still trying to figure out the problems, the professor announced something about the final exam. And I realized that I never took any mid terms of econometrics and ECON 300 ever this semester!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaa.... OMG, what's going to happen with my grades? Oh no, I should withdraw from this class, but I don't want a W in my transcript :( aaaaaaaaaaaaaa... I was so scared and panic. As I was walking to Jacobsen's office (chair of econ dept), my dream stopped (>_<)

uncounsciously...

I counted how many classes I actually took this semester :p hahahha... And I was so happy that I wasn't taking any econ classes, but ECON 101 :P hahhahahaha.... OMG, too much econ for me!

gosh...

Ayer mandé a él una "invitación" de tomar un café conmigo. Hace mucho tiempo que no lo encontré y me gustaría que nos charlemos como antes... Ahora creo que ya no pienso en él como antes. Pero...pero...pero... hay otro hombre :p ooooooooooopppsss.. Otra vez, es un japones en esta universidad. Vamos a llamarle, Toto.

(por qué es muy difícil escribir en espanol ahora??!! Aaaaaaaa... tengo que practicar más para que no me olvido!)

Bueno, conocí a Toto antes de ir a Buenos Aires en el verano pasado. Cuando lo ví, pensé que hubo algo atractivo en él que a mí me gustó. pero después no tuve muchas oportunidades de conocerlo porque me fui a Argentina. Cuando volví, hubo algunos momentos cuando traté de buscarlo (>_<) Nosotros no hablamos mucho hasta que llegara los "rehearsals de Mabuhay en abril. Antes de este espectaculo, si nosotros encontramos en Fisk después de su clase de Chino y la clase japonesa, nos charlamos...y charlamos. Y a mí me gustó eso (>_<) Porque estaba una de los organizadores de Mabuhay, tuve que estar presente durante los rehearsals, y lo ví. No sé porque pero nos encontramos por muchas veces en abril. Interesantemente, nosotros siempre hablamos en japones, no sé por qué. Puede ser porque sentimos más comodos así. Llegó Mabuhay, y llegó un momento donde quería estar con él. Ese momento fue mal porque mi novio estaba acá para ver el espectaculo, pero no quería pasar tiempo con mi novio, sino con Toto! Aaaaaaaaaaaa.... ya sé que malo yo! Después me di cuenta que ese sentimiento que tuve para ese hombre fue un fling (>_<) después de Mabuhay, todavía traté de encontrar momentos para verlo y hablar con él. Pero me dije que NO...NO... dejá de pensar en él.

WesESL Graduation Party....

This afternoon, there was the WesESL Graduation party at the German House backyard. I came about 40 min after 12pm, since I wasn't quite planning to go... but then I remember that it's not just simply a party... It's the students' graduation party!
I came just in time for diploma. I was there when Felix got his diploma... OMG, I was so happy seeing him receiving that piece of paper because it's what he deserved.

Felix's smile and jokes

I remember the first day of our ESL class... I was quite nervous when I realized that my student, Felix Rosario, didn't really speak English compare to other students. He spoke soooo little English that I wasn't sure where to begin our semester. I tried different ways of getting him to speak English, and most importantly to have the bravery to use English. As a person who has been learning foreign languages, I know how hard it is to use the language, only because you have no confidence. Soo... mmm... I decided not to focus on grammar, but to make him understand "useful" English. It wasn't easy... Felix was shy so it was hard to get a conversation going, even in Spanish sometimes... But I didn't give up! I discovered slowly that Felix enjoys playing games... So we played tons of words games, Oooo... I'm going to miss playing BINGO with him (>_<) I changed my teaching styles a couple of times, coz either I didn't have enough time to prepare the materials, or simply for the sake of experimenting my ideas and teaching plans. I'm very grateful that I got into the ESL program coz I got to teach what I like and learn how to make teaching lessons. I'm happy that Felix is a diligent person because he seriously was my biggest motivation to do well in teaching.

THANKS FELIX!

After one semester, I felt attached to my student. I wonder if I would feel the same when I'm in NYC next semester... I'm seriously going to do another ESL program as soon as I come back from NY. I'm happy seeing Felix's improvements... Although he still needs to work on his English (ALOT!), but he has showed some improvements in his conversation skills, he's braver now :) I hope that he maintains it and would work harder with whoever his tutor is. I hope he gets a good tutor coz he's very diligent (he never missed classes unless he's so sick!) and he's willing to work hard! yeah :)

Me encanté conocerte y espero que nos comuniquemos siempre... gracias Felix!

it's decided!

because I was so depressed and stressed from thinking about this summer, I didn't go to Mori Sensei's farewell party at AAA last night... :( i called my mum, well more of she called me and we talked for almost an hour about "why the heck am I so indecisive about my summer plan." we talked and we talked... and I cried, that I was so tired and slept in my cry! :( I don't want to make it so dramatic, but it was quite bad...

so now what?

I woke up this morning, without having to rush to any of my 9am class... and talked to my parents, this time my dad was also on the phone. SO basically, none of them opposed my idea of going home. But they don't want me to regret any desicion I made. they don't want to see me feeling sad and lonely, should I not find anything this summer. soooo... just like any parents who love their kids... they want me to be happy!!! I'm so grateful that I have such wonderful parents... Thank you God.

no regrets! trust God!

that's what my parents repeatedly said this morning. If I don't do the internship because I don't think I would enjoy my time... then fine! not doing an internship is not the end of the world... I think I wasn't brave enough to say so... I was doing things that I didn't know what the purpose is... :( I just want to be happy and prepared for the future.

Sooooo...

I'm going home! I don't know yet when I'm going to go though... still looking for tickets. I kinda want to be here for MasYogi's birthday and perhaps have an early celebration (a month early) for my birthday. My dad wants me to go s'pore for vacation. why???? I guess he just love s'pore and none of his daughters want(ed) to go to school there.. oh well. I might go there when Selina is there! Oooo... excited! and Oom Basuki is moving to Pakistan and I really want to go there. I wonder what Pakistan looks like... but I don't know if that'll be feasible considering that they're moving there this June. oh well, we'll see...

hoooooooooooooooommmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

i should look forward! i'm going to study chinese like crazy! i cant wait to take classes in Chinese :p heheheh... I should definitely have my hands on that language and surprise people when i come back in August! hahhaha... home.. home... sweet home...

crita dr papa

This is an email that my dad sent trying to enlighten my gloomy days. Thanks Dad, I love you sooo much!

Assalamu'alaikum wr.wb,

Dear tia,



Papa ingin cerita pengalaman papa ketika akan lulus dahulu, mungkin bisa dipakai
sebagai cermin, sebagai referensi.



Sistem perkuliahan di ITB pada waktu itu yang tepat waktu adalah 4 tahun 10 bulan,
terhitung dari Januari. Hitung2annya kira2 begini; Jan - Jun matrikulasi sem.1, Juli
- Des TPB I (Tingkat Pertama Bersama) sem.2, Jan - Jun TPB II sem.3. Jul - Des
Jurusan umum sem 4, Jan - Jun sem 5, Jul - Des sem 6, Jan - Jun sem 7 (tingkat
sarjana muda selesai), Jul - Des sem 8, Jan - Jun sem 9 (tingkat sarjana jurusan
spesialis ), jadi total adalah 1 + 2 + 4 + 2 = 9 semester. Mahasiswa yang pinter dan
rajin, biasanya Januari/Peb/Mar sem 9 sudah mulai ambil tugas akhir, sehingga
selesainya sekitar Sep dan wisuda Oktober sem ke 10, sehingga total waktu adalah 4
tahun + 10 bulan. Dengan demikian sejak Juli sudah tidak ada kuliah, hanya
menyelesaikan tugas akhir. Kalau belum selesai, ya wisudanya ikut Maret tahun
berikutnya.



Ketika itu Juni 1980 (akhir sem 9), papa sudah habis, sudah lulus semua mata
kuliahnya, tepat 9 sem atau 4.5 tahun. Tetapi karena pada wkt itu papa "banyak
problem", maka jadi kacau semua. Tugas akhir belum mulai, ujian komprehensive
tertulis (UKT) sebagai salah satu syarat lulus sarjana, tidak lulus2, sampai 3 x
ambil.



Kemudian terus dibayangi kalau lulus mau kemana, mau jadi apa, ada banyangan disuruh
segera menikah, dll. Mau ke PNS atau BUMN tidak mau (karena harus ikut Kopri,
golkar, koruptif, dll). Mau ke kontraktor takut nanti sering bohong, mau ikut
konsultan gajinya tidak begitu cukup, ikut oil company harus di laut atau di luar
jawa (tidak betah), mau kerja di pabrik membosankan, mau kerja di trading terlalu
ruwet (cina melulu), mau jadi dosen gajinya kecil. Sementara itu, orang tua/keluarga
sangat memerlukan bantuan. Terus karena sudah pacaran sama Wike cukup lama, sehingga
tidak boleh lama2 senang2/main/dolan. Jadi bertumpuk2, takut/bingung/dll.



Karena serba bingung, maka papa cari pelarian. Ikut GMNI, ikut rapat kerja nasional,
tiap hari nongkrong di sek. GMNI Bandung, sering ke GMNI Pusat di Jkt. Lalu ikut
pengurus HME (Himpunan Mahasiswa Elektro) ITB, mulai dari sek. MPA, menjadi salah
satu ketua, menjadi anggota presidium. Terus juga ikut ini/itu di kampus yang isinya
membunuh waktu, untuk pelarian. Selama itu, kalau malam tidak bisa tidur. Papa kena
insomnia, setiap malam baru bisa tidur jam 03.00 atau 04.00, itupun setelah jalan2
malam hari kaya orang sinting, biar capai, biar ngantuk. Bangun tidur jam 09.00,
terus dolan, ke kampus nongkrong, ke diskusi ini/itu, demo, rapat sana/i, pulang ke
rumah malam, lalu main ke Jkt, begitu dan begitu terus, yang penting melupakan tugas
akhir dan memperlama lulus.



Waktu berlalu begitu saja. Dari Juli 1980, tahu2 sudah Juli 1981, 12 bulan hilang
hampir percuma. Lalu ortu n mama memberi tahu. Maka dari Juli 1981 s/d Maret 1982,
papa baru mengerjakan tugas akhir dan selesai April 1982, sehingga tidak bisa ikut
wisuda Maret, maka ikut yang rombongan Oktober 1982, tetapi Mei 82 sudah kerja di
jkt.



Ketika kerja, papa "dipaksa" mbah kowo untuk kerja di trading, belajar dari cina
untuk nantinya mendirikan perusahaan sendiri dan ternyata gagal, karena terlalu
sulit, perlu modal, dll, itu menghabiskan wkt 2 tahun. Setelah itu baru papa
memutuskan berprofesi di konsultan, dan itu sampai sekarang. Papa tidak menyesal
menjadi konsultan, papa sangat bangga menjadi konsultan teknik. Kalau sdh seumur
papa, jarum jam tidak bisa diputar balik, ibarat besi tidak bisa di-tekuk2 lagi.
Tapi utk tia, semua masih terbuka, semua masih bisa di-tekuk2, mau jadi apa saja
masih mungkin.



Mungkin saat ini tia lagi capai, maka jangan memutuskan sesuatu yang cukup penting
dalam masa spt ini. Kalau ke chicago, di sana kan tdk sibuk, bisa mempersiapkan GRE,
bisa cari2 bea siswa master, bisa merenung. Kalau mo istirahat, mo pulang ke indo,
mungkin nanti des/jan akan lbh baik. Pertama tdk kehilangan OPT, kedua dapat
pengalaman, ketiga tia akan mendapatkan pengalaman hidup di luar university setting
yg mungkin akan jauh berbeda, keempat papa/mama punya cukup waktu untuk bisa
membantu mencarikan hubungan ke bbrp teman di jkt/indo dari sekarang seperti UNDP,
world bank, dll, dan tia bisa melalui e-mail. Namun kalau tia pulang 10 weeks ke
indo pada juli nanti tp sp saat ini blm punya banyangan, maka akan membuat bosan dan
wkt akan berlalu mungkin sia2 atau hanya sedikit yg bisa didapat. Di indo kan
semuanya serba tidak pasti, tdk jelas, lama, bertele2, dst.



Mudah2an cerita di atas bisa dipakai sebagai bahan renungan. Memang berbeda, tetapi
ada hal-hal yang hampir sama. Tia tidak harus cepet2 kerja dan membantu ortu, tia
tidak bisa mem-buang2 wkt, karena atas biaya bea siswa. Jamannya berbeda.



Ingat kamu anaknya setyo triyono, sehingga banyak sifat papa yang nurun ke tia. Coba
lihat skrg, papa hampir tidak terlaksana semua, ya di IA Pusat jarang nengok sek,
IA-76 banyak mbolosnya, IA-Elektro ditingalin, SMA I tdk aktiv, SMP 5 setengah2, SD
coba2, RW sdh gak pernah datang, LKMD macet, WOTK idem ditto. Jadi papa hampir 100%
hanya untuk Sigmatech (ini mmg harus). Coba lihat deNA, gagal di AFS, lalu berjuang
keras masuk PI OSIS dan berhasil. Lalu aktiv sekali, kepengurusan ok, nilai rapor
ok, ikut LKIR kemarin di puncak untuk tingkat Jaksel juara I penelitian bidang IPS
(opo ora hebat), biar Insya Allah nanti jadi menkes atau dirjen penyehatan
masyarakat atau pemberantasan penyakit menular (artinya dokter yang banyak
berhubungan dengan masyarakat/rakyat kecil).



Begitu dar (dena à dir, dik shanti àder, mama à dor), grujug, thung!!!!!!! Love you.
Wassalam.

what is it that I want???

Sometimes I wish Doraemon, the Japanese robot cat, really exist. I want to borrow his time machine and take a peak to where I'd be 10 years from now...

Future....

that's a word that I can't describe now. I don't know what I want for my future. I have never been like this, at least not this LOST! Ever since I came back from Argentina, I was scared... scared not knowing what my future would look like after I leave the Wesleyan bubble and step into the what-everyone-call.. the real world.

Where would I be? What would I do?

I should be happy coz I got an internship, teaching internship at the Language Stars at Wilmette, IL. I mean, it doesn't pay me much... guess, so long as you work for a non-profit or teaching, you shouldn't expect getting $800/week. It'll involve teaching Spanish... yeah, teaching language... something that I have always wanted to do. thus should I say, my dream job????
But, am I happy now? Am I excited about going to IL this summer? NO..NO..NO..! I'm scared and I don't know if I'd be happy working for 10 weeks in Wilmette. I guess, partly coz I'd be in a place where I don't know anybody... I don't have a place to stay yet... And I won't be with Mas Yogi. But those should be things that I could handle easily, it's just a matter of time.

So, now what????

I think the point is that I don't know if that's something that I want to do. So, what do I want to do??? I wish I have the answer now... I know that I want to be involved in teaching. I mean, if I don't have that high of an interest, I wouldn't have worked my ass off to get the Urban Education Semester program--the whole petitioning, convincing the whole world, including myself that I wanted to be there next sem.. bla..bla..bla... Now, Language Stars is teaching, but then why don't I want it now?

What do I want now???

I want to go home... back to where my parents and my sisters are... I think I need time to recharge myself. Next semester is going to be a brand new semester for me. Working for a public school during the day, taking classes at night... in New York City! I've never been quite pleased with NYC :p but I'm excited about it! It's going to be a very different experience there and I seriously look forward to it. And I want to have 100% energy for it... I want to be fully fresh and charged.. ready for it!

So, going home this summer?

Probably... I cant say that I'd get something better than Wilmette.. I mean, hopefully... but I hope I could refresh my mind and energy by being at home for I don't know... 2 months... I was thinking about what I could do should I go home.
I could study Chinese since I won't be able to do that next semester.
I could work for AFS orientations (though the permission might be hard to get from my parents).
I could try to contact Iwan's dad and see if I could "bother" him at the Dept of Education.
I could... eat good foooooooooooooooooooood :p
The point is... I could relax and get myself ready for the future. I shouldn't think that going home means I'm a loser.. I'm not a loser! Why is being in your own hometown considered a bad thing??? weird!

Soooooooooooooooooo... I wanna go home!