My life had I not gone to Wesleyan... mmm.. I wonder... (part1)

I believe it was Sunday afternoon when I was interviewed by the Freemans and John Driscoll at Shangri-La hotel. I was there for the Freeman scholarship interview that would get me a four-year education at one of America’s top liberal arts colleges.

And here I am now in Boston watching VH1 for almost 2 hours :p hehehhe… No, I mean, here I am now officially done with my third year at Wesleyan. I have 1 more year to go before earning my Bachelor of Arts degree. I’d start my senior year with a-to-be-interesting-fall semester, studying at the Mecca of school of education, Bank Street College of Education in New York City. Now, if I were to ask for a list of things I have accomplished at Wesleyan, it would take me a long time to make one since I did soooo much since I came to Wesleyan. To name some, mmm… I’m dating a really nice guy for almost 3 years now (I hope to be with you forever, Mas Yogi), thanks to my Spanish professors, I had a fabulous semester in Argentina last fall and I have been taking interesting classes with cool professors!

Sometimes I wonder how my life would have been like if Wesleyan hasn’t chosen me as one of the 2007 Freeman scholars… Well, one thing that I can say for sure is that I would have gone to one of Indonesian public universities, perhaps UGM or UI and still I would have chosen sociology. (I was quite surprise how determined I was in becoming a soc major). Anyway, I remember how lazy I became all of a sudden as soon as I knew that I got accepted at Wesleyan; I didn’t put as much effort as I should have in studying for my final exams and I was having fun all the time afterwards with the AFS dudes (well, basically sneaking behind my parents to be able to hang out with them…). So, if I hadn’t gotten the scholarship, I would have still studied hard for finals and SPMB, the mighty national exam students have to pass to get into public university. I put down sociology and mmm… I think international affairs as my two options on the SPMB registration form. Honestly, I wasn’t confident at all with my ability to get into international affairs, especially UI’s. I don’t want to say that I went safe with sociology coz its passing grade was way lower than international affairs coz I was very interested in soc, but I guess I was kinda anticipating the worst case by choosing something “easy.”

Besides studying hard to get into a public university, I would have worked harder for my finals at school. I was kinda lazy and didn’t care much anymore about UAN, the ultimate exam that determines students’ life—if you fail UAN, you’re doomed no matter how hard you perform in the last 3 years (stupid system!). I was slightly disappointed when I saw my overall grades and compared myself with people like Oenk, Ai and Maria Gita (well, the latter, I kinda always know that she’s damn smart so I never actually wanted to compare myself with her). I knew that I could have studied harder and gotten better grades in my last finals in high school, but… oh well…

Let’s talk about the “present.” Say I got into UI, I would have been in the last chunk of my third year by now. I don’t know if I would have been like my friends who are renting rooms near campus coz commuting everyday is not impossible at all (home-UI, I’d say the most is an hour considering the traffic jam, especially at Pasar Minggu… Aaaarrrggghhh). So, I guess I would still stay at home with my parents. My life style would have been the same more or less like when I was in high school since my parents are quite conservative and sometimes they’re very over-protective (which in most cases turned out to be good things, mmm….). People who know me well have said that I’m a spoiled kid, but I think I’ve outgrown some of “Tia is a spoiled kid” part by living on my own at Wesleyan. I still call my parents every now and then for advices and for the sake of getting pampered over the phone by their comforting words; I call mas Yogi literally everyday and complain about how hard my life is at Wesleyan. But had I stayed with my family at home, I don’t think I could have become the “more mature” Tia. The things that shaped me into the way I am right now are the activities I did here and the people I met. I think I’m stronger when I am alone; when there’s no one whom I could lean on, I would struggle hard to overcome the obstacles and these things made me stronger and more mature…

In terms of education, I really appreciate the opportunities that Wesleyan and this country offer to me. If I hadn’t gone to America, I wouldn’t have thought of taking Spanish and listed Argentina as a country that I’d visit… I don’t think I ever thought of going to Latin America at all; I would have been like any “regular” Asian whose dreams are to go to the U.S. and Europe (how typical!). If I were to stay back home, I would have gotten a less diverse type of education and would have explored fewer chances. I know that I, and my parents, would find different ways to “be different” from the crowd by seeking various opportunities to go abroad, attend conferences and workshops… but those would not compensate the resources that I have at Wesleyan. I have been exposed to many… many… things that help me to find the right things for my future. Things like the CRC is not yet available in many Indonesian schools (they should have this institution. It’s damn useful!). So, I guess if I had been in Indonesia, I would have been less exposed to things that I had never thought of, like going to Argentina. Although I have always wanted to pursue a career in teaching, I would not have known how to do so besides the “traditional” way.